Since the new piece is sulking (okay, I know it's not really sulking, that's just how things feel - possibly courtesy me arguing with another bout of stress overload: something that happens periodically. I'll deal.) and it's that time again, today is once again dedicated to that literary celebration of all things overblown to gargantuan proportions of awfulness: the Bulwer-Lytton Awards (yes, I know poor Bulwer-Lytton doesn't deserve to have his name forever linked to bad prose: that doesn't change the fact that the competition and its entries are massively popular).
So, in honor of the Bulwer-Lytton Award winners of 2010 (the Baen people here may be interested to know that a regular contributor to the boards won the romance category), our honored readers are encouraged to celebrate with their own displays of prolixity, pusillanimous punnage, prose of the most lurid purple and other such literary homage as to astonish, astound and appall their fellow inhabitants of that rare pocket of sanity in a hostile world known to initiates as the Mad Genius Club, wherein they might indulge their most cherished authorly musings, hone their remarkable repartee (for the repartee is indeed remarkable, though this is not necessarily a good thing), and demonstrate the hitherto undiscovered depths of their prodigious abilities, albeit not to those lesser beings who have yet to discover the wonders of the Mad Genius Club or who are, alas, prevented accessing said wonders by the sad impairment of inadequate cogitative ability - or worse, a surplus of sanity (this is the Mad Genius Club, after all) - thus eternally barred from delighting in the delectable delicacies offered herein, and must therefore content themselves with the inferior enjoyments of the remainder of the Internet: though this may in fact be a disguised blessing, for it is a well known fact that one ought not cast pearls before swine lest said pearls find their way through said porcine's digestive tract making the equally inadvisable prospect of making silk purses of sow's ears even less desirable for in order to decorate silk purses adequately a supply of pearls is required and the exercise of extracting pearls from porcine excrement is not for those with functional nasal equipment.
If anyone can extract meaning from that mouthful, congratulations! You're doing better than me.
It's over to you, fellow Mad Geniuses (or is that Genii?) - can you outdo the Bulwer-Lytton winners?