Warning Whinge Post.

Time poor writer cries foul.

I want more 'me' time.

I used to be a stay at home mother of 6 who also volunteered for state and national arts organisations. I set up a national writing competition, a national workshop and I helped on a national award among many other things. During this time, I had around 30 kid's books published and a fantasy trilogy.

I used to think when all the kids get to school I'll have more time. Only by then the eldest ones started coming out the other end of the school system. They had part time jobs and studied part time I spent all my time running them around to things.

I used to think when some of the kids leave home (this has only happened in the last 6 months) I'll have more time. But I'm teaching part time (during marking weeks it is full) and we're renovating our house. And three of the 6 kids are still at home with the others dropping by, so I'm still running people around to things.

I've edited my three KRK books in the first few months of this year (that's three levels of edits on three books over 100K at the same time). And I've written a new book which I'm madly trying to do an edit on before the end of the month to send off to my ROR colleagues so they can give me feedback on it. (And I'll read their books in August and give them feedback before World Con in September).

I LOVE writing. But trying to get this book finished has been a really hard slog. The joy of writing hasn't been there, except on odd ocassions. One night I couldn't sleep, got up at three am and wrote until 6am when I had to start marshalling kids for work and school. Those three hours were heaven. No interruption.

I think it is the lack of mental space in my head to mull over character and plot and let things gell organically. I really miss that private space in my head.

Here I am, home from work, writing my blog post, trying to juggle work family and writing, and wondering if I can squeeze in an hour or two on the book. I just want to write.

Is anyone else tempted to run away and join a monastery to get some 'me' time for their writing?

Algebra and Accounting ...

Okay, I know there are forums out there, where people write about mathematics, sometimes using mathematics to make a point simply because they love it.

I have to state here, that I do not love maths.

Over these holidays:

I've had to set up the chart of accounts and do the entries for 2 Super Funds (Self managed Superannuation Funds).

I've had to do my BAS (Business Activity Statement) entering all income and expenditure and allocating a percentage to GST (Goods and Services Tax) and working out my GST for the quarter.

AND, (if this is not bad enough), I've had to do 14 pages of year 9 algebra with my 15 year old son so he could catch up with what he missed last school year. I did General Maths in high school (not algebra) and that was almost forty years ago.

Hence the soothing picture of the beach and ocean!

But, as I was working on these maths related things, it occurred to me that with numbers it is philosophically simple. (I'm not discussing String Theory here). You do a bank reconciliation, you account for everything. You are either right or you are wrong. You do an algebra equation and there is a right answer.

After writing books where every word carries nuances that vary depending on your cultural background (US, UK, Canada, South Africa, Australia), where you build characters with those words, where you build worlds with those words and then you try to tell a story on the shifting sands of these foundations ... maths was strangely satisfying.

I know I can write a good story. (Sometimes I get too close and get something wrong, but I can see this when critique partners point it out). I have written children's books that went out to 5 publishers before they were sold, not because there was anything wrong with the books, but because they weren't what the first 4 publishers wanted. I have Book One of four different fantasy series sitting on my hard drive, waiting for the right publisher/s to come along.

I have the three books of the King Rolen's Kin series coming out this year. I know I can write an entertaining book, but I don't know if the books I write will automatically sell. This was a big revelation after I sold my first children's book. I assumed that once I achieved publication, my next book would automatically sell. I looked on that first professional sale a bit like the Master Plumber giving his apprentice his papers and making him a professional.

Not knowing if a perfectly good book will sell is really frustrating.

If I was an accountant, I could 'write as many books as I could manage' and people would pay me because a bank reconciliation is either right or wrong. No one sits there and says, I liked it, but it isn't the reconciliation I'm looking for right now.

Creative people like writers, musicians and artists get up everyday, pour their hearts into their work and do it, knowing there is a strong chance it will be rejected even if it is good.

Why do we do it?

That's an easy one. We can't stop ourselves being creative.

But how do we keep doing it? How do you shore up our confidence despite the vagaries and indignities of our chosen profession?

Now that is a much harder question.

How do you keep going?