Thursday, December 23, 2010

Are we there yet?


So, another Thursday approacheth, and Kate sitteth upon her well-padded cushion to compose another scintillating Mad Genius Club post. Only... Kate sayeth unto herself "What now?" Or words to that effect.

I actually had a post planned out and even pre-written, and then Rowena beat me to it. Meanwhile my brain is somewhere in the Caribbean partying, and it doesn't even send a postcard. I'm horribly offended.

The fact is, it's been a hellish year for me, and I can't wait for it to be over. I've got one more workday this year (today), then a smidge over a week to recover for next year's fun and games. Getting to the end of the work year has been something of a death march - a long, painful drag with no apparent end most of the time.

I swear, if I did to a character what's landed on me this year, I'd have people telling me there's no way all that crap happens to anyone all at once. Besides, the character would hunt me down and kill me. And probably resurrect me so he could hunt me down and kill me again.

So, instead of a sensible, thoughtful kind of post, you've got a bunch of more or less aimless rambling, some cute and funny (at least, I think they're funny), and a challenge:

Go to the Random Plot Generator, pick one or more of the options in the list, and write a short summary of a story that uses it.

Here's mine:

Advice for the Evil Overlord:
The gun turrets on my fortress will not rotate enough so that they may direct fire inward or at each other.
Story: The Mad Scientist and the Evil Overlord engage in a pitched battle over the design of the fortress gun turrets. While they are alternating between trying to kill each other and trying to sabotage the other's plans, the World's Luckiest Hero saunters in, rescues the Princess, and recruits all the Evil Overlord's soldiers and the Mad Scientist's minions.

(okay, it's crap. But you get the idea)

9 comments:

MataPam said...

Advice for the Hero:
When five seconds can mean the difference between the survival and destruction of the galaxy, I will keep my wistful expressions of undying fealty, love, or regret to a minimum.


My take:
Alas! Brave Yoric had not read the manual.

The beautiful Princess grabbed his arm and gazed deep into his eyes. She brushed his lips with hers, a touch so soft he might have imagined it. Then she turned and ran for the ramp out of this hell hole. I was right on her heels, but the soldiers had used the time to organize and I heard the enemy captain yell, "There they are, fire at will."

My last thought was that if I was going to get killed for dallying, I ought to have held out for a lot more than a kiss.

Jason Cordova said...

Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.



I tried to be reasonable, but when my advisors questioned me for the umpteenth time I just, frankly, snapped. I grabbed Hidalgo by his scruffy mane and tossed that bad horse out the fifth story window.

Pinocchio must have been telling the truth about his concerns, but I needed kindling for fuel to start my victory bonfire so he had to go. He kept screaming "But I'm a real boy!" but the flames don't lie, buddy.

Mary had nothing to advise, though she had a little lamb. Fleece white as snow and all that jazz. So in order to celebrate my impending victory, I ordered navarin from the cook. Mary quit soon after.

Once they were gone, I hired three more advisors who were much more accommodating to my needs as Evil Overlord. Soon afterwards, the hero showed up to thwart my mad schemes.

Sigh. I suck at this super villain gig. I should go back to just being a regular villain and continue to work for Lehman Brothers...

danielocasey said...

Advice for the Evil Overlord:
The passageways of my domain will be well-lit with fluorescent lighting. Regrettably, the spooky atmosphere will be lost, but my security patrols will be more effective.
Advice for the Hero:
Female sidekicks who are loyal and dependable make much better True Loves than do vain, pampered princesses who never give me the time of day.

Alright this is a stretch, but exercise usually involves some kind of stretching.

Evil overlord got there b y exploiting the dark dreary hallways angle, then he subcontracted to get that fixed so nobody can sneak up on him.
Lady that runs contracting firm, no beauty but not bad with a hammer or wires.
Hero hears tales of beautiful princess looking to be rescued (why do they always have to be rescued, useless twits) so he goes to get her...
Princess is drawn to Evil Overlords charisma and power however.
Hero ends up hooking up with contractor, they shut down the lights and use the darkness to kidnap the princess and foil the whole Evil Overlord's planned campaign by inciting a riot in the local goblin population.

Rowena Cory Daniells said...

Sorry about using your post idea, Kate.

It was one of those things we were probably all going to do.

Hope next year is better for you!

Kate said...

Matapam,

I love it! Brave Yoric indeed failed to read the manual, and paid the price.

Kate said...

Jason,

You are an evil, warped man. No wonder you fit in so well here.

Kate said...

Daniel,

I like this idea. It's a neat twist on all of the standard tropes.

Kate said...

Rowena,

That's how it goes. Around this time of year most of us are thinking along the same lines, and you got there first.

To the winner, the spoils and all that.

Thanks for the good wishes. Now to see if the universe will play along.

danielocasey said...

alright, I'm going to have to second Kate's comment, Jason your's is warped. But warped is a good thing... right?
*muttering to self...* God I hope so, otherwise...?