Oh, er, sorry, I got a little carried away there.
Let me start again. You know how you walk through a bookstore and vampires are everywhere? That’s because we’re insidious. We’ve infiltrated your hearts and souls. Zombies might eat your brains, but we can get inside them without ever cracking open your skull. And, really, isn’t that better for everyone? Certainly it leaves a better-looking corpse. Luckily, it’s not really in our best interest to leave corpses lying about. For one, it’s unsightly. For another, corpses don’t buy retail. And in a tight economy, we don’t want to start stalking our target demographic, not after all the trouble we’ve gone through to control creative types like writers, illustrators, directors, producers and anyone else we can tap for a portion of the proceeds.
Mercenary? Hey, it’s not like we can go out and get day jobs. Besides, agents take 15% for what they do—talk about bloodsuckers! We’re only taking our cut for all the inspiration we provide. We’re like the ultimate unsung ghost-writers. Think that’s not hard work? Have you ever tried to wrestle creative types into revising their visions? We should get hazard pay! Take my chronicler, for example. She’s one of those bloodsuckers I referred to above. That’s why I chose her—I figured she could totally relate. But have you ever tried to influence an agent…and a Taurus besides? Hard-headed doesn’t even begin to cover it. Oh, the power struggles we’ve had…let’s just say I need to suck down the blood of a caffeine addict just to cope. And do you know how many times I’ve had to grit my teeth when she refers to me as “fictional”? [Link: http://varkat.livejournal.com/171738.html]
One side effect of this whole fanged fiction flare-up is that we can now hide in plain sight. Thanks to Charlaine Harris and True Blood, advertisers can cater to us right out in the open. [Link: http://www.d-kitchen.com/projects/true-blood-season-2-campaign#] I’ve even got my own blog! [Link: http://ginasgems.livejournal.com/]
So, love us or leave us, vampires are here to stay. We’re fanged, we’re fabulous, we’re famished…and you look good enough to eat.
(Now, look into my eyes…you will think no more of this than of the plot to Avatar. You will forget this conversation ever happened. When I snap my fingers, I’ll be just a fashionable figment of your imagination. ;-)
Lucienne Diver is the author of the Vamped young adult series, which began in May 2009 with a novel of the same name. The sequel, ReVamped, is a September trade paperback release from Flux, and two more books, tentatively entitled Fangtastic and Fangtabulous will follow.
Kirkus has said of Vamped, “Those who enjoy a good giggle will respond eagerly to this brassy, campy romp.” School Library Journal says, “This quick read is filled with teen slang and fashion consciousness; it’s a lighthearted, action-packed, vampire romance story following in the vein of Julie Kenner’s “Good Ghouls” (Berkley), Marlene Perez’s “Dead” (Harcourt), and Rachel Caine’s “The Morganville Vampires” (Signet) series.” Further information is available on her website: www.luciennediver.com.
MGC thanks Lucienne -- and Gina, of course -- for guest blogging today!