It's a bore. Really. It doesn't matter what the hell it is, in real-time it's a bore. Author's lives, novels about undergoing great quests, whatever. Hell, even war or mountain rescue or hunting your dinner. Most of it, and indeed most of life is really repetitive, slow-moving and, um, boring. Okay, one man's tedium is the next's Te Deum (because being alive and not under stress is something to be grateful for. I am, every day that I am here on the far end of nowhere in particular, thankful to the Australian Department of Immigration and Citizenship, as much as some of you may question their judgement)... but let's face it, real life (even fraught and miserable, or wildly exciting) is full of real time tedium, rather like real conversation is full of real banality. And like the army it's moments of extreme excitement interspersed with a lot of not much happening. In the army, that's mostly good. In a book, it isn't.
When people are paying up to read a piece of escapism (because yes, even misery books (my mother abused me, my father beat me or my punk-boyfriend ran off with my poodle, and took all the diet coke) are in fact some form of escapism. Yes, you have to be living a very banal and spoiled upper-middle class life to enjoy escape into grunge or misery... but there are people in that sad, meaningless existence that revel in the misery of others, otherwise there'd be no market for these sort of books. )... They want escapism.
And that means that they don't want the boredom of real-time, real-life. Any great quest involves sleeping, getting up, urinating, drinking something, probably eating something, and walking or riding... heck, breathing, sweating and farting unless you happened to be writing sparkly emo vampires, in other words business as usual, in between very short moments of intense excitement, mental turmoil and the stuff people paid to read about.
I think the key here is ‘real-time'. Any book is actually really 90% the exciting bits with the parts about blowing their noses and cleaning teeth and trying to get warm seriously foreshortened if not truncated completely. And yet you will hear the terms ‘realism' applied not infrequently to books that people admire. People feel they were there... no matter unlike real life the pace was. And even if no-one says ‘Like' ("like you know like it all like happened like, really fast.")
So: we're talking about writing here: how does one pull this little sleight of hand? How do some writers do it so slickly that you don't even realise it was done, and others leave you confused and re-reading (It must be deep. I had read every paragraph 3 times!)? And how, oh how, do those of us that have to write about the mundane make it entertaining (says he who tries to blog every day)?
We're onto the black magic zone of transitions here. And if you can't do these, you can't write. It's one of the more frequent and less written about problems of new writers. There are even some less-than-new writers who battle: to whit - me.
The key techniques I have been able to identify are...
1)Just leave it out. If the reader is able to leave the character bog-snorkling, and then easily work out that the story picks up with character x again after three hours of slogging through the bog later as they crawl onto the enchanted islet... well and good. No need to repeat bog-movements.
'
This is awful, thought Mary, pushing deeper and deeper into the ooze. Sulphurous bubbles rose around her as she moved slowly forward forcing her way deeper into the muddy swamp. She knew there was no way back now. Just onward toward the enchanted islet out there in the mirk.
***
Mary was exhausted after forcing her way through thigh deep mud for what seemed like eternity, but couldn't have been more than an hour. She grabbed the rocks of the Enchanted islet and hauled herself out. For a while she just sat there and panted. And then looked at herself. sniffed.
Here I am, off to meet a Prince and I smell like a frog-pond and look like Marshall's ex-girlfriend.
2)Change point of view. This works very well. But not in first person...
'
This is awful, thought Mary, pushing deeper and deeper into the ooze. Sulphurous bubbles rose around her as she moved slowly forward forcing her way deeper into the muddy swamp. She knew there was no way back now. Just onward toward the enchanted islet out there in the mirk.
***
Watching from the high rock on the enchanted islet Prince Dairmid saw the woman pushing out into the bog. "Doesn't she know about the leeches?" he wondered, as she struggled forward. She was certainly determined. He watched her, fascinated, for ages, until she got too close.
3) use some of the tedium in (interesting) introspection with little aside to show the passage of time or distance. Beware. This can be boring too. Takes a light hand.
'
This is awful, thought Mary, pushing deeper and deeper into the ooze. Sulphurous bubbles rose around her as she moved slowly forward forcing her way deeper into the muddy swamp.
Suppose it pulls me down. But she knew there was no way back now. Just onward toward the enchanted islet out there in the mirk. She tried focussing he mind on her goal, or even on her mother-in-law. But the reality of step after glutinous step pulled her back to the grim reality of the bog. It sucked. So did her life.
4) seriously foreshorten by using narrative - tell don't show. Yes, there IS a place for this. '
This is awful, thought Mary, pushing deeper and deeper into the ooze. Sulphurous bubbles rose around her as she moved slowly forward forcing her way deeper into the muddy swamp.
Suppose it pulls me down. But she knew there was no way back now. Just push onward toward the enchanted islet out there in the mirk. So she did. it seemed endless, but at last she grasped the rocks.
5)Finally, where there is just no escape (ie. Me writing a blog about a day of hard work, writing) either make it funny, or draw on experiences from more interesting times.
Ok - suggestions? Ideas?
A quick transition to a padded cell?